April A Lesson In Taking Things As They Come

It is hard to believe that it has been officially 44 days of quarantine for me personally, so much happened in that time and it seem that nothing has at the same time. Though I doubt our world will remain unchanged when this whole thing is over.

I am not going to lie, I have done nearly none of the things I said in the last post, mostly because I couldn’t. My mind would take a walk when I did and it would end up in places that were unkind and not helpful so I gave up a bit. I decided to press pause. I went numb for a bit and allowed my own self to become clouded in the hold that the world has right now.

But goals are important and so I have set some. I’m not talking about huge life altering goals, just small broken down attain able steps that I think will slowly help buoy me and guide me back to shore. Goals like one book a week, or making sure that I sit outside when the sun is out. Taking ownership of my own art is super important for me too, making sure that I keep singing but not because I have to, because I want to. Making art in anyway I can with my hands, my body, my voice or my mind. These are the goals that mean things to me and thus will help me pursue them. At least that is the hope.

These thoughts came when our province awoke one day to fin dour world had been flipped upside down, again. Even amongst this whole pandemic, which has altered how many of us connect with our communities and families, we had the wind taken from our sails. When an event like this happens you can’t help but reflect.

I often put pressure on myself, even when it is not helpful and unneeded. I think April has taught me to take a breath, to step back when I need to and take the moment.